Fold your hands child, you walk like a peasant: Mourinho and Ronaldo

“Coming from a poor working class family does not mean to say you’re uneducated,” stated Sir Alex Ferguson in 2007, enlightening all of us with his wisdom. But no, he was not standing atop the closest soapbox on the closest street corner of Old Trafford, blaming referees, transfer tactics that don’t suit him, or Wenger for being French. Instead, he was coming to the aid of a poor, defenseless little boy named Cristiano Ronaldo who had bruised feelings over a scrap with the big, bad wolf Jose Mourinho.

Mourinho had called Ronaldo “classless,” “uneducated,” and a “peasant.” Ronaldo’s comments to the press were calm and measured, but dug in deep enough for Ferguson to rush to the winger’s aid. Ferguson accused Mourinho of attempting to “unsettle.”

Consequently, if this sort of thing is the lifestyle of peasantry, I think Karl Marx was way off the mark.

Anyways, the pair find themselves as the most glamorous pairing at one of the most glamorous clubs in the world and are asked to work together in peace, love, and harmony.

It’s a classic Mourinho tactic, of course, getting the press to talk about anything other than the task at hand. At the end of the 2007 season, the masses were blathering overdramatically whether Ronaldo and Mourinho would ever be able to kiss and make up once Mourinho, presumably, decided to take the Portugal National team post instead of how Chelsea had totally bottled the title race. Before the Champions League final between Porto and Monaco, the press was in their tizzy regarding Mourinho and his move to Chelsea. Same thing this year. The names change, but the strategy remains the same: Obfuscate, be ridiculous and crass, stay in the papers, keep your players out of said papers and their players in them.

Why worry about Bayern’s front three and whether Maicon will be able to have the free role he’s accustomed to in the Champions League final when we could be thinking about the fight between Francesco Totti, a Roma player, and Mario Balotelli, an Inter substitute? The result: Guys like Milito, Cambiasso, Zanetti, Sneijder,…you know, the guys who mattered,….felt no pressure at all and played like it. It’s akin to throwing a dog treat across the room for your pooch and as he chases it down, you step out the back door.

But what of the collateral damage? Mourinho apologized to Ronaldo very discretely after the season and the former United player reportedly accepted. Is it as easy as that? Is it as simple as Mourinho walking into a room and saying, “Nah, nah, I was just playin. It’s cool” or “look, my team was under pressure and I had to get the London media to get off their back.” After Jose leaves a job his players usually swear a loyalty to him uncommon in the modern game, so maybe this is easier than previously thought. Maybe Cristiano has forgotten. It’s plausible.

But the love affair between Madrid and Mourinho this offseason has obfuscated at least one potentially burned bridge from the past. Just how Jose likes it.

Oh, and his Spanish version of a General Manger once said Mourinho’s tactics were something like “shit on a stick.”

Good luck, Jose.