Not good news for the Special One. On the Wing with Patinho readers, whom those in the know know they know more than others, feel that Jose won't make it past the first year as the man at la Casablanca.
This week's question:
With the World Cup knocking at the door, who you got? Vote now and vote often.
6/3/10
World Cup Players to Watch, Part 1
I've picked 14 teams I think have a chance to do some damage in the World Cup this year. Why 14? I dunno. Fourteen is a good number. Guti wears and Mike Scioscia wore 14. 14 is a nice number. Here's part 1:
Brazil: Felipe Melo
Felipo Melo began the season as the subject of a tug of war between Arsenal and the Old Lady of Turin and one of the “hottest prospects”of the transfer market in a race where everyone lost. By the end of the season Melo was just happy to get out of Italy for a while. The weak link of Dunga’s more defensive minded Brazil is its double pivot double question mark. Gilberto was old four years ago and the player who will be forced to pick up the slack in the center will be Melo. You’ve got to give it to Dunga, though, in realizing the weakness of his team, and knowing that he will most likely have enough in attack to get the job done, he’ll use two defensive midfielders to the chagrin of his nation.
Spain: David Villa
Since the monkey-erasing back scratching that was Euro 2008, Del Bosque has replaced the role of Marcos Senna with Xabi Alonso and Picaboo Busquets. Combined with the Fernando Torres injury, David Villa will be forced to take the main responsibility for finishing. Luckily for Spain, he’s proven he’s up to the task and Spain has the deepest midfield and goalkeeping in the tournament, along with some of the best defending and, in Villa, a lethal strikeforce. If Torres can provide meaningful pitch-time, look for Villa to have a chance at the Golden Boot.
Italy: Antonio Di Natale
Lippi’s choice of formations and tactics in qualifying and friendlies has been, in a word, schizophrenic. Overall, it’s probably good for Italy, but terrible for anyone trying to make predictions. More maddening for Italian fans is Lippi’s choice to axe Toni, Totti, Rossi, Cassano, and Balotelli. Lippi seems to have taken performance and attitude over skill and talent. More power to him; the guy has won more World Cups than I have. Nevertheless, he’s going to need someone to step up. Antonio Di Natale seems like the guy most suited to give it a go. I guess...
5/30/10
America, F**k yeah: 5 reasons why America must defeat England on June 12 at the World Cup
Patinho is an anxious duckling; the World Cup is days away and his hatred of England is a cup that is beginning to runneth over. Sure, Mrs. Patinho is 3/8ths English. Sure, Patinho himself is “allegedly” 1/8th English. Sure, Mexico is the general geographic and historic rival. Nevertheless, Patinho is frothing at the mouth in hopes the Americans can stick it to the Lobsterbacks. Here are the top 5 reasons Patinho is hoping for the big upset:
1. A win puts the United States in the driver seat for the group.
Strategy and sports first, pettiness and bitterness second: A short look at the bracket gives a dour likelihood should the United States finish second in their group. It seems realistic to expect Germany to finish first in Group D, meaning they would face group C’s second place finisher. Nothing against Ghana, Australia, or Serbia, who would all give the Americans trouble, but “Germany,” “World Cup,” and “Elimination Game” are, historically, terms best not used in the same sentence if you’d like to progress. Germany finished second in the Euro 2008. England did not qualify. Germany have won 3 World Cups. England has won one. At home. After screwing Eusebio.
An American victory would force England to play catch up in the final two matches and exponentially increases the ability of the United States to have a successful tournament.
2. Our inferiority complex would get a much needed psyche boost.
American soccer and its fans are essentially a drunken sorority chick, desperately letting it all hang out on the dance floor in a vain attempt to impress England. There’s a lot of slobbering, begging, and a complete lack of self respect. Almost to a man (or woman, as it were) our fans follow their league, many follow their national team, and some not so secretly hope that England wins this tournament. MLS fans hope to import English stars for a vacation at the end of their careers, want their team’s change names to carbon-copy the Premiership, and go salivatingly crazy when the big four English clubs grace American soil with their presence. It’s beginning to be a bit pathetic.
American soccer fans need to wake up and realize England does not like them very much. England will patronize them with a kiss or a visit now and again, but it’s really just a way for England to take advantage of them economically. You know, like olden times. America is being used and a victory could be a Dr. Drew style wakeup call that forces our nation to stand up on its own two feet. They’re mocking us and no one seems to get it.
3. John Terry
Speaking of mocking us, there’s John Terry.
The dad of the year lost England captain’s armband after news came out over an affair with ex-teammate Wayne Bridge’s baby momma. And if that wasn’t reason enough to cheer against him, there was his response to the September 11 terrorist attacks on the United States.
Charming guy, that John Terry. I laughed when he got knocked out by Abou Diaby. I laughed at his tears after he missed the crucial Champions League final penalty kick. I laughed when he got showed up by Manchester City, and I’d love to laugh at him one more time. Couldn't happen to a nicer guy.
4. Landon Donovan deserves it
For some reason, American fans love to hate Landon Donovan. Donovan had the audacity to choose MLS over Europe and has consistently faced scorn ever since. How dare he?!
Donovan haters, who often inexplicably choose the far inferior Clint Dempsey as their weapon of choice, took a big hit during the Confederations Cup and a bigger hit during Donovan’s loan stint at Everton. The blue half of Liverpool begged Donovan to stay and the red half begged Donovan to leave. Donovan returned to MLS and has led the Galaxy to the best record in the league…by 9 points as of the writing of this post.
Landon Donovan is the best outfield player in the history of the United States of America and a victory against England will separate American fans into two categories: Those who love Donovan and those who pretend to have always loved Donovan.
5. Bob Bradley
I’ll admit it. I was one of the guys hoping to have Jurgen Klinsmann take over the United States job after Bruce Arena. I was blinded by his success with Germany, his success as a player, and my desire to see Klinsmann engineer America into an international force. The deal was as good as done and fans were beginning to celebrate.
But a funny thing happened on the way to glory. The deal disintegrated when Sunil Gulati showed some backbone and refused to be bow to Klinsmann’s ridiculous demands and, instead, went with Bob Bradley.
Bradley was MLS’ all time leader in wins and was well respected throughout American soccer, something most soccer fans in this country held as a negative. The response was overwhelmingly disparaging and, upon reflection, embarrassingly unfair.
Bradley has done well. He won the Gold Cup in 2007 and came in second during the Confederations Cup in 2009 where the Americans lost to Brazil after breaking Spain’s record winning streak. Bradley did have a difficult Copa America in 2007 and lost to Mexico 5-0 in the final of the 2009 Gold Cup, but apologists will say those issues were caused by the unavailability of players due to the whacky MLS schedule and the crunch of summer international tournaments.
Bradley took hits to his credibility when he began to choose Michael Bradley, his son, over Benny Feilhaber. 3 years later the controversy is almost laughable. Bradley seems to come down harder on his son than any other player, and Michael Bradley is far and away the better player. Ditto on his decision to play Donovan mostly in the midfield. Personally, I was incensed at the mere notion of playing our best player way out on the left wing. It has been a categorical success.
Bradley has never been popular, but he has always been effective. A lot more effective than Jurgen Klinsmann was, anyways.
5/27/10
Fold your hands child, you walk like a peasant: Mourinho and Ronaldo
“Coming from a poor working class family does not mean to say you’re uneducated,” stated Sir Alex Ferguson in 2007, enlightening all of us with his wisdom. But no, he was not standing atop the closest soapbox on the closest street corner of Old Trafford, blaming referees, transfer tactics that don’t suit him, or Wenger for being French. Instead, he was coming to the aid of a poor, defenseless little boy named Cristiano Ronaldo who had bruised feelings over a scrap with the big, bad wolf Jose Mourinho.
Mourinho had called Ronaldo “classless,” “uneducated,” and a “peasant.” Ronaldo’s comments to the press were calm and measured, but dug in deep enough for Ferguson to rush to the winger’s aid. Ferguson accused Mourinho of attempting to “unsettle.”
Consequently, if this sort of thing is the lifestyle of peasantry, I think Karl Marx was way off the mark.
Anyways, the pair find themselves as the most glamorous pairing at one of the most glamorous clubs in the world and are asked to work together in peace, love, and harmony.
It’s a classic Mourinho tactic, of course, getting the press to talk about anything other than the task at hand. At the end of the 2007 season, the masses were blathering overdramatically whether Ronaldo and Mourinho would ever be able to kiss and make up once Mourinho, presumably, decided to take the Portugal National team post instead of how Chelsea had totally bottled the title race. Before the Champions League final between Porto and Monaco, the press was in their tizzy regarding Mourinho and his move to Chelsea. Same thing this year. The names change, but the strategy remains the same: Obfuscate, be ridiculous and crass, stay in the papers, keep your players out of said papers and their players in them.
Why worry about Bayern’s front three and whether Maicon will be able to have the free role he’s accustomed to in the Champions League final when we could be thinking about the fight between Francesco Totti, a Roma player, and Mario Balotelli, an Inter substitute? The result: Guys like Milito, Cambiasso, Zanetti, Sneijder,…you know, the guys who mattered,….felt no pressure at all and played like it. It’s akin to throwing a dog treat across the room for your pooch and as he chases it down, you step out the back door.
But what of the collateral damage? Mourinho apologized to Ronaldo very discretely after the season and the former United player reportedly accepted. Is it as easy as that? Is it as simple as Mourinho walking into a room and saying, “Nah, nah, I was just playin. It’s cool” or “look, my team was under pressure and I had to get the London media to get off their back.” After Jose leaves a job his players usually swear a loyalty to him uncommon in the modern game, so maybe this is easier than previously thought. Maybe Cristiano has forgotten. It’s plausible.
But the love affair between Madrid and Mourinho this offseason has obfuscated at least one potentially burned bridge from the past. Just how Jose likes it.
Oh, and his Spanish version of a General Manger once said Mourinho’s tactics were something like “shit on a stick.”
Good luck, Jose.
Mourinho had called Ronaldo “classless,” “uneducated,” and a “peasant.” Ronaldo’s comments to the press were calm and measured, but dug in deep enough for Ferguson to rush to the winger’s aid. Ferguson accused Mourinho of attempting to “unsettle.”
Consequently, if this sort of thing is the lifestyle of peasantry, I think Karl Marx was way off the mark.
Anyways, the pair find themselves as the most glamorous pairing at one of the most glamorous clubs in the world and are asked to work together in peace, love, and harmony.
It’s a classic Mourinho tactic, of course, getting the press to talk about anything other than the task at hand. At the end of the 2007 season, the masses were blathering overdramatically whether Ronaldo and Mourinho would ever be able to kiss and make up once Mourinho, presumably, decided to take the Portugal National team post instead of how Chelsea had totally bottled the title race. Before the Champions League final between Porto and Monaco, the press was in their tizzy regarding Mourinho and his move to Chelsea. Same thing this year. The names change, but the strategy remains the same: Obfuscate, be ridiculous and crass, stay in the papers, keep your players out of said papers and their players in them.
Why worry about Bayern’s front three and whether Maicon will be able to have the free role he’s accustomed to in the Champions League final when we could be thinking about the fight between Francesco Totti, a Roma player, and Mario Balotelli, an Inter substitute? The result: Guys like Milito, Cambiasso, Zanetti, Sneijder,…you know, the guys who mattered,….felt no pressure at all and played like it. It’s akin to throwing a dog treat across the room for your pooch and as he chases it down, you step out the back door.
But what of the collateral damage? Mourinho apologized to Ronaldo very discretely after the season and the former United player reportedly accepted. Is it as easy as that? Is it as simple as Mourinho walking into a room and saying, “Nah, nah, I was just playin. It’s cool” or “look, my team was under pressure and I had to get the London media to get off their back.” After Jose leaves a job his players usually swear a loyalty to him uncommon in the modern game, so maybe this is easier than previously thought. Maybe Cristiano has forgotten. It’s plausible.
But the love affair between Madrid and Mourinho this offseason has obfuscated at least one potentially burned bridge from the past. Just how Jose likes it.
Oh, and his Spanish version of a General Manger once said Mourinho’s tactics were something like “shit on a stick.”
Good luck, Jose.
5/26/10
Ambulance Chasing: Prophecies sure to go embarrassingly wrong
Summer time and the livin’s easy; time to pop the ole water plug, just for ole time sake. Every time I sit around I find I’m shocked.
Time for the Summer Transfer Season.
Deviants out there catch their jollies from the rumor mill each day when tiddlybits of information are leaked (read: made up) with the purpose of frenzy stirring. These degenerates sift from website to website, beginning at the generally reputable ones like the BBC or Sports Illustrated and then dumpster dive down down down to websites such as the Sun or On the Wing with Patinho. The first hit is free, but soon you’ve wasted the better part of the day. You’ve learned nothing but need everything. Just one more fix. Please…“Can someone tell me whether Shaun Wright Phillips is set to sit the bench at Manchester City, Arsenal, or Wigan?” Just one more. Just one more fix. Then I’ll turn the computer off until tomorrow.
You sweat. You purse your lips. You try and predict the future. Why? Is it because you believe Christoph Metzelder is the difference between that Europa league and 8th place? Is it because you are the last person on the planet who believes David Nugent could possibly hold a higher place in the pantheon of importance than Ted Nugent? Is it because you’re dying to know which child you’ve never heard of is set to sign with Arsenal? Look out, Arsene, that one gonna end up being sold to Barca, too!
No, it’s because you need to know how to set up your FIFA 10 team for PS3 and don’t want to wait for the roster updates. I know this because we can smell our own. I’m not just the President of this club, I’m also a client. Here is my first set of prophecies sure to embarrass me in the future; gentlemen rumored to be on the move in the wide world of soccer and where I think they’ll actually end up.
Gianluigi Buffon, Goalkeeper Current Club: Juventus, Italy
Buffon is arguably the best keeper in the world and usually won’t fall out of most people’s top three. He wins, he organizes, he makes saves. After Juventus was relegated in 2006 due to a match fixing scandal that sent Serie A decades backwards, many of the Old Lady’s stars flew the coop. Ibrahimovic to Inter, Cannavarro and Emerson to Real Madrid, etc. etc. Buffon chose to stay put and re-won the hearts of Turin. The latest debacle has nothing to do with the Suits and everything to do with the lack of talent on the field. Many, including me, think Buffon may finally be on the move. While Manchester City might make sense from a bulging backside pocket point of view, I think Buffon wants some hot Champions League action. I think he ends up in England at one of the Big Three, and I have a feeling that Wenger goes after him the hardest.
Patinho’s Crystal Ball says: Arsenal
Fernando Torres, Striker Current Club: Liverpool, England
There was something in the air that night, the stars so bright, when Fernando limped off the field. Did anyone get the feeling that it was El Nino’s last dance as the Lady in Red? If David Villa had some options, you know Torres will, being younger, faster, and stronger. Barcelona is out, they’re money is spent. Torres would rather eat lava than end up at his eternal foe, Real Madrid. No dicey on the return home. Liverpool would be crazy to keep him in the Premiership. The move that makes sense is whatever move Rafael Benitez makes. Juve was likely at one point, but that’s fallen apart. There’s a team in Milan that has a lot of money to throw around after taking Barcelona to the transfer cleaners last year. Everyone knows that Samuel Eto’o starts to turn a dressing room into mold after one season, right? Better get to work, Moratti.
Patinho’s Crystal Ball says: Inter Milan
David Silva, Forward/Attacking Midfielder Current Club: Valencia CF, Spain
Left footed midfielders are all the rage amongst annoyingly rich and annoyingly supported teams from England and Spain. Last year, Valencia somehow held on to both Villa and Silva. After getting an American style bailout from area politicians, Los Che somehow made out better on the deal. Real Madrid will pursue him all summer, only to lose out at the end. Then Los Blancos buy him next year after a seemingly innocuous injury that nags him the rest of his career.
Patinho’s Crystal Ball says: Valencia CF
Angel Di Maria, Midfielder Current Club: SL Benfica, Portugal
Meanwhile, that sneaky Scotsman Blowhard in Manchester does a little Socialist misdirection, and sneaks up on Angel Di Maria to play on the left of the midfield. Franco will never see it coming! United gets what they need, a guy whose natural position is on the left, and a guy who can be the long term replacement for Giggs.
Patinho’s Crystal Ball says: Manchester United
Yaya Toure, Defensive Midfielder Current Club: FC Barcelona, Spain
What an aggravating year for Toure. He is by far a better player than Picaboo Busquets, but sat on the bench. Why? Pessimists will tell you that it has everything to do with Busquets being a Catalan and a youth teamer. Realists will tell you that it was to avoid an exorbitant escalator clause in Toure’s contract. Nevertheless, you gotta feel for the guy. He’s a top 5 defensive midfielder in the world and deserves better. With question marks over Essien’s health and Obi Mikel’s consistency, Stamford Bridge makes a lot of sense and would make the Pensioner’s even better.
Patinho’s Crystal Ball says: Chelsea
Daniele de Rossi, Defensive Midfielder Current Club: AS Roma, Italy
We’ve been told up and down that Roma’s hard-man is the heir apparent to Totti at Roma. Those who believe this may want to recall that Totti stayed at Roma under threat of castration from his mother. No. Really. Roma’s President Rosella Sensi has that tone in her voice and Tinkerman Ranieri is saying de Rossi is staying put, but you almost get the feeling that Roma likes the idea of being a big player in the table and the market more than they actually the reality of it. De Rossi ends up in Madrid as Mourinho’s muscle and Roma gets a large fee and the yearly supplies of Cicinhos and Baptistas: Drenthe, Gago, Garay. Pick one.
Patinho’s Crystal Ball says: Real Madrid
Time for the Summer Transfer Season.
Deviants out there catch their jollies from the rumor mill each day when tiddlybits of information are leaked (read: made up) with the purpose of frenzy stirring. These degenerates sift from website to website, beginning at the generally reputable ones like the BBC or Sports Illustrated and then dumpster dive down down down to websites such as the Sun or On the Wing with Patinho. The first hit is free, but soon you’ve wasted the better part of the day. You’ve learned nothing but need everything. Just one more fix. Please…“Can someone tell me whether Shaun Wright Phillips is set to sit the bench at Manchester City, Arsenal, or Wigan?” Just one more. Just one more fix. Then I’ll turn the computer off until tomorrow.
You sweat. You purse your lips. You try and predict the future. Why? Is it because you believe Christoph Metzelder is the difference between that Europa league and 8th place? Is it because you are the last person on the planet who believes David Nugent could possibly hold a higher place in the pantheon of importance than Ted Nugent? Is it because you’re dying to know which child you’ve never heard of is set to sign with Arsenal? Look out, Arsene, that one gonna end up being sold to Barca, too!
No, it’s because you need to know how to set up your FIFA 10 team for PS3 and don’t want to wait for the roster updates. I know this because we can smell our own. I’m not just the President of this club, I’m also a client. Here is my first set of prophecies sure to embarrass me in the future; gentlemen rumored to be on the move in the wide world of soccer and where I think they’ll actually end up.
Gianluigi Buffon, Goalkeeper Current Club: Juventus, Italy
Buffon is arguably the best keeper in the world and usually won’t fall out of most people’s top three. He wins, he organizes, he makes saves. After Juventus was relegated in 2006 due to a match fixing scandal that sent Serie A decades backwards, many of the Old Lady’s stars flew the coop. Ibrahimovic to Inter, Cannavarro and Emerson to Real Madrid, etc. etc. Buffon chose to stay put and re-won the hearts of Turin. The latest debacle has nothing to do with the Suits and everything to do with the lack of talent on the field. Many, including me, think Buffon may finally be on the move. While Manchester City might make sense from a bulging backside pocket point of view, I think Buffon wants some hot Champions League action. I think he ends up in England at one of the Big Three, and I have a feeling that Wenger goes after him the hardest.
Patinho’s Crystal Ball says: Arsenal
Fernando Torres, Striker Current Club: Liverpool, England
There was something in the air that night, the stars so bright, when Fernando limped off the field. Did anyone get the feeling that it was El Nino’s last dance as the Lady in Red? If David Villa had some options, you know Torres will, being younger, faster, and stronger. Barcelona is out, they’re money is spent. Torres would rather eat lava than end up at his eternal foe, Real Madrid. No dicey on the return home. Liverpool would be crazy to keep him in the Premiership. The move that makes sense is whatever move Rafael Benitez makes. Juve was likely at one point, but that’s fallen apart. There’s a team in Milan that has a lot of money to throw around after taking Barcelona to the transfer cleaners last year. Everyone knows that Samuel Eto’o starts to turn a dressing room into mold after one season, right? Better get to work, Moratti.
Patinho’s Crystal Ball says: Inter Milan
David Silva, Forward/Attacking Midfielder Current Club: Valencia CF, Spain
Left footed midfielders are all the rage amongst annoyingly rich and annoyingly supported teams from England and Spain. Last year, Valencia somehow held on to both Villa and Silva. After getting an American style bailout from area politicians, Los Che somehow made out better on the deal. Real Madrid will pursue him all summer, only to lose out at the end. Then Los Blancos buy him next year after a seemingly innocuous injury that nags him the rest of his career.
Patinho’s Crystal Ball says: Valencia CF
Angel Di Maria, Midfielder Current Club: SL Benfica, Portugal
Meanwhile, that sneaky Scotsman Blowhard in Manchester does a little Socialist misdirection, and sneaks up on Angel Di Maria to play on the left of the midfield. Franco will never see it coming! United gets what they need, a guy whose natural position is on the left, and a guy who can be the long term replacement for Giggs.
Patinho’s Crystal Ball says: Manchester United
Yaya Toure, Defensive Midfielder Current Club: FC Barcelona, Spain
What an aggravating year for Toure. He is by far a better player than Picaboo Busquets, but sat on the bench. Why? Pessimists will tell you that it has everything to do with Busquets being a Catalan and a youth teamer. Realists will tell you that it was to avoid an exorbitant escalator clause in Toure’s contract. Nevertheless, you gotta feel for the guy. He’s a top 5 defensive midfielder in the world and deserves better. With question marks over Essien’s health and Obi Mikel’s consistency, Stamford Bridge makes a lot of sense and would make the Pensioner’s even better.
Patinho’s Crystal Ball says: Chelsea
Daniele de Rossi, Defensive Midfielder Current Club: AS Roma, Italy
We’ve been told up and down that Roma’s hard-man is the heir apparent to Totti at Roma. Those who believe this may want to recall that Totti stayed at Roma under threat of castration from his mother. No. Really. Roma’s President Rosella Sensi has that tone in her voice and Tinkerman Ranieri is saying de Rossi is staying put, but you almost get the feeling that Roma likes the idea of being a big player in the table and the market more than they actually the reality of it. De Rossi ends up in Madrid as Mourinho’s muscle and Roma gets a large fee and the yearly supplies of Cicinhos and Baptistas: Drenthe, Gago, Garay. Pick one.
Patinho’s Crystal Ball says: Real Madrid
5/25/10
Barca ready for continued dominance with David Villa and Cesc Fabregas Arrivals
Salamanca, Spain, was the venue; more specifically an Irish Pub just outside the Plaza Mayor called the Holy Grail. I had earlier found the Spanish opinion of American knowledge of futbol to be nearly unanimous: humorously poor, yet somehow cute. That night, I hope I surprised Alberto, one of the three bartenders, with our banter over whether Fernando Gago was a classic Argentinean ‘5’, a box to boxer, or a link man. I thought Gago was useful, but Alberto seemed unwilling to budge for anyone but Andres Iniesta. He wanted Madrid to purchase a midfielder.
It was a Tuesday evening in early summer, 2008.
“Dude,” I said, forgetting that ‘dude’ was probably not a term widely used by Spaniards using English as a second language. “That’s ridiculous, Barca would never sell him…Especially not to Madrid. He’s Catalan, isn’t he?” You could feel that corner of the city sort of deflate as if a tired generation had grown weary of mixing so much politics into the game. “He’s from Albacete. Everyone thinks he’s Catalan. He’s from Albacete.”
I looked to Barca-fan Fran, the second bartender in the nearly empty bar, with a raised eyebrow. Fran’s English was not as good as Alberto’s, but he got the gist. He smirked and shook his head, “No way.”
“It doesn’t matter,” I said, “You at least need a bruiser in there. Diarra and Sneijder, then. Focus on a striker.”
The name Diarra caused Alberto to throw up his hands. “Iniesta and Sneijder,” was his response.
Incredulous, I asked, “Where’s the meat? You Spanish and your tik-a-tak-a.” The men roared and it was either that line or the drunken and accidental over-tipping that won them over.
“What about Theth?” asked Cristina, who had yet to speak up. “Huh?” I asked. “Cesc,” Alberto responded, realizing I probably didn’t have the whole lisp thing down.
“Fabregas? Never.”
Alberto shrugged as if considering it, I shook my head no at the impossibility due to my pedestrian knowledge of modern day Spanish sentiment, and Cristina folded her arms as if to ask why not.
Fran smiled sheepishly and shook his head, “No way.”
“We should just get Fernando Torres, while we’re at it, so long as there’s no ideology left in Spain.” El Nino’s name caused the entire bar to gag.
“Doesn’t matter anyhow,” I responded before finishing my beer. “All we need is David Villa. Threepeat.” Their laugh was patronizing, I’m sure. Within a week of my return, I was nearly ready to celebrate when Marca declared, through Yahoo’s Babelfish, “Villa for 40 kilos of grain and of the network!” (I should note that, though Marca is probably run by a group of crazy persons, the deal was apparently Villa to Madrid for 40 Euros, Granero, and De La Red. Later, Bernd Schuster would tacitly blame Raul for ruining the deal.)
Oh, how the times have changed.
99 points. About 70 million cups. Half the world says Barcelona is the best team on the planet and the other half says they are the best team in the history of the planet. And to make matters worse for Los Vikingos from Salamanca to Seattle and Madrid to Manhattan, Barca will be far more lethal after their recent acquisition of David Villa and their presumptive purchase of Francesc Fabregas.
I would like to make one thing painfully clear: Fabregas will be sold to Barcelona and will be sold this summer. Under assorted rocks and in Iowa there are still Gooners out there who are holding out hope that Wenger may be able to hypnotize the boy for one more season. Unfortunately, that ship sailed last year when Fab saw Barca take 6 titles and saw Arsenal win nothing. Again.
The moves make perfect sense for both players. If there hasn’t been enough waxing over the prodigal son and his return home, you haven’t been paying attention to the news about Fabregas who strategically dropped the bombshell and scooted off to World Cup training. And from Villa’s perspective, his decision to be “ready” for the Premiership called was due mostly to Barca’s previous unwillingness to pay the asking price and Perez giving Valencia the two-fingered salute last summer and taking the same, rejected, offer to Lyon for Benzema (I know, it didn’t quite work out how the Whites wanted, but history is all about timelines and when you know what you know). It was always Barcelona or Madrid. Villa never wanted to leave Spain, never wanted to take his wife and his children, one newly born, to a foreign nation, and now he does not have to.
These moves immediately make Barca deeper, which Arsene Wenger and Juande Ramos can tell you is pretty darn important when you’re chasing a title. One could argue the single most important player on Barcelona this season was Pedro, mostly because very few people actually knew who he was in August. Pep Guardiola had no clue that Ibrahimovic was going to have troubles adapting, that Iniesta would fight injury, and that Thierry Henry would fall off the map after the fisting he gave Ireland. Messi is amazing, but we already knew that. Pedro was amazing and we had no clue. Depth wins you cups, and even if there is a decision to sell Ibra, Villa and Fabregas give you two world class options for the Barcelona bandolier.
In addition to pure numbers and talent, Guardiola will now have increased options with selections, formations, and tactics. In Barca’s 4-3-3, Iniesta can move up to the left wing and Cesc can slide into his midfield role, bringing Pedro off the bench. Villa can either replace Ibrahimovic or supplement him. Cesc is capable of playing anywhere along the midfield three, and Villa is capable of playing anywhere across the front three. Barca’s fluidity make these two players perfect choices. While the 4-3-3 seems to be hardwired into FCB identity, but should Guardiola get creative, he could mix and match seamlessly with a 4-3-1-2, 4-4-2, a 4-2-3-1, a 4-3-2-1 …getting dizzy yet? Yeah, it’s not really worth the permutations unless you’re a nerd. The point is they can give a team a host of looks and switch on a dime to a new formation because all of their players are so multi-dimensional. Lastly, it’s widely held that Ibrahimovic was brought in as a plan B when the quick one-two’s weren’t working. Even with a completely dysfunctional center forward, Barca was able to get 99 points. With or without Ibra, Cesc’s outside shooting ability, according to Sid Lowe of the Guardian, gives Barca an additional layer of plans, and Fabregas will probably run more than Victor Valdes to boot.
Maybe more important than the options is the style. Villa is the Eto’o style forward who can play facing goal and is effective in the passing game in a manner supplementary to being the final recipient. Fabregas, Xavi, and Iniesta have almost interchangeable styles. The point is these players are square pegs in square holes unlike Ibra, who is just a peg looking for a hole. Someone tell your sister to look out.
As for me, I’ll be waiting for that Fernando Torres press conference and somewhere in Salamanca Fran the Barca fan is smiling sheepishly and saying, “No way.”
“Dude,” I said, forgetting that ‘dude’ was probably not a term widely used by Spaniards using English as a second language. “That’s ridiculous, Barca would never sell him…Especially not to Madrid. He’s Catalan, isn’t he?” You could feel that corner of the city sort of deflate as if a tired generation had grown weary of mixing so much politics into the game. “He’s from Albacete. Everyone thinks he’s Catalan. He’s from Albacete.”
I looked to Barca-fan Fran, the second bartender in the nearly empty bar, with a raised eyebrow. Fran’s English was not as good as Alberto’s, but he got the gist. He smirked and shook his head, “No way.”
“It doesn’t matter,” I said, “You at least need a bruiser in there. Diarra and Sneijder, then. Focus on a striker.”
The name Diarra caused Alberto to throw up his hands. “Iniesta and Sneijder,” was his response.
Incredulous, I asked, “Where’s the meat? You Spanish and your tik-a-tak-a.” The men roared and it was either that line or the drunken and accidental over-tipping that won them over.
“What about Theth?” asked Cristina, who had yet to speak up. “Huh?” I asked. “Cesc,” Alberto responded, realizing I probably didn’t have the whole lisp thing down.
“Fabregas? Never.”
Alberto shrugged as if considering it, I shook my head no at the impossibility due to my pedestrian knowledge of modern day Spanish sentiment, and Cristina folded her arms as if to ask why not.
Fran smiled sheepishly and shook his head, “No way.”
“We should just get Fernando Torres, while we’re at it, so long as there’s no ideology left in Spain.” El Nino’s name caused the entire bar to gag.
“Doesn’t matter anyhow,” I responded before finishing my beer. “All we need is David Villa. Threepeat.” Their laugh was patronizing, I’m sure. Within a week of my return, I was nearly ready to celebrate when Marca declared, through Yahoo’s Babelfish, “Villa for 40 kilos of grain and of the network!” (I should note that, though Marca is probably run by a group of crazy persons, the deal was apparently Villa to Madrid for 40 Euros, Granero, and De La Red. Later, Bernd Schuster would tacitly blame Raul for ruining the deal.)
Oh, how the times have changed.
99 points. About 70 million cups. Half the world says Barcelona is the best team on the planet and the other half says they are the best team in the history of the planet. And to make matters worse for Los Vikingos from Salamanca to Seattle and Madrid to Manhattan, Barca will be far more lethal after their recent acquisition of David Villa and their presumptive purchase of Francesc Fabregas.
I would like to make one thing painfully clear: Fabregas will be sold to Barcelona and will be sold this summer. Under assorted rocks and in Iowa there are still Gooners out there who are holding out hope that Wenger may be able to hypnotize the boy for one more season. Unfortunately, that ship sailed last year when Fab saw Barca take 6 titles and saw Arsenal win nothing. Again.
The moves make perfect sense for both players. If there hasn’t been enough waxing over the prodigal son and his return home, you haven’t been paying attention to the news about Fabregas who strategically dropped the bombshell and scooted off to World Cup training. And from Villa’s perspective, his decision to be “ready” for the Premiership called was due mostly to Barca’s previous unwillingness to pay the asking price and Perez giving Valencia the two-fingered salute last summer and taking the same, rejected, offer to Lyon for Benzema (I know, it didn’t quite work out how the Whites wanted, but history is all about timelines and when you know what you know). It was always Barcelona or Madrid. Villa never wanted to leave Spain, never wanted to take his wife and his children, one newly born, to a foreign nation, and now he does not have to.
These moves immediately make Barca deeper, which Arsene Wenger and Juande Ramos can tell you is pretty darn important when you’re chasing a title. One could argue the single most important player on Barcelona this season was Pedro, mostly because very few people actually knew who he was in August. Pep Guardiola had no clue that Ibrahimovic was going to have troubles adapting, that Iniesta would fight injury, and that Thierry Henry would fall off the map after the fisting he gave Ireland. Messi is amazing, but we already knew that. Pedro was amazing and we had no clue. Depth wins you cups, and even if there is a decision to sell Ibra, Villa and Fabregas give you two world class options for the Barcelona bandolier.
In addition to pure numbers and talent, Guardiola will now have increased options with selections, formations, and tactics. In Barca’s 4-3-3, Iniesta can move up to the left wing and Cesc can slide into his midfield role, bringing Pedro off the bench. Villa can either replace Ibrahimovic or supplement him. Cesc is capable of playing anywhere along the midfield three, and Villa is capable of playing anywhere across the front three. Barca’s fluidity make these two players perfect choices. While the 4-3-3 seems to be hardwired into FCB identity, but should Guardiola get creative, he could mix and match seamlessly with a 4-3-1-2, 4-4-2, a 4-2-3-1, a 4-3-2-1 …getting dizzy yet? Yeah, it’s not really worth the permutations unless you’re a nerd. The point is they can give a team a host of looks and switch on a dime to a new formation because all of their players are so multi-dimensional. Lastly, it’s widely held that Ibrahimovic was brought in as a plan B when the quick one-two’s weren’t working. Even with a completely dysfunctional center forward, Barca was able to get 99 points. With or without Ibra, Cesc’s outside shooting ability, according to Sid Lowe of the Guardian, gives Barca an additional layer of plans, and Fabregas will probably run more than Victor Valdes to boot.
Maybe more important than the options is the style. Villa is the Eto’o style forward who can play facing goal and is effective in the passing game in a manner supplementary to being the final recipient. Fabregas, Xavi, and Iniesta have almost interchangeable styles. The point is these players are square pegs in square holes unlike Ibra, who is just a peg looking for a hole. Someone tell your sister to look out.
As for me, I’ll be waiting for that Fernando Torres press conference and somewhere in Salamanca Fran the Barca fan is smiling sheepishly and saying, “No way.”
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